the despair that no one sees

I’m alone again. 
For a minute there, it was silent;
but I’m alone again. 

It’s all returning,
the feeling I’ve fought so hard to hush.
The grief. The unfriendly face 
bleeding out from the crowd. 

How silly to say I’ve been trying to cry.
It sounds absurd. I wouldn’t blame you 
for thinking that too. 

But every time I try to cry,
I feel like I’m putting on a show. 
For whom you ask? I couldn’t tell.